And the Winner is......

Before Will and Big Steve kill each other, I am pleased to announce the winner of the Best Worst Christmas Cracker Joke.


In third place is Iris (Bonsaisnr) for:
An imam, a priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"


Second prize goes to Wabashene for:
Q: What's ET short for?
A: Because he's only got little legs.


And the first prize goes to newbie Jon H for:
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "I'll drive if you man the guns!"

(Well I did drop a colossal hint or three about this judge's surreal sense of humour!!!)


A Certificate of Merit goes to DuncanH for the best overall joke which was just too long to be considered a Christmas Cracker joke:

A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says,
Darling, this is the pig I make love to when you have a headache."
His wife is lying in bed and replies, "I think you'll find that that's a sheep, you idiot".
The man says, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep".


A Certificate of Insanity goes to Will and Big Steve for sheer perseverance in atrocity. You certificates are in the post, but please note Will, that as I am a mean Scot, I have not put a stamp on yours so you'll have to pay the postage yourself. Hah!


Many thanks to everyone else who contributed - you may all consider yourselves as worthy runners-up.

Each one is worse than the others.
Iris

That one was from my girlfriend. I'll let her know that her sense of humor did so well. Although maybe not, she might keep telling jokes.

Im not happy about this Fiona I put a huge amount of effort into this I think Steve did as well, although not as much To lose to some fly by night newbie..... whose never even seen a cracker I demand a recount

will baddeley wrote: I demand a recount

Fair enough.

Right ... yan, tan, tethera, pethera...

Nope. Still Jon.

But seeing as how it's you, I'll up the Certificate to a bar of Dairy Milk. Or no, even better - a bar of McCowan's Scottish Toffee.

Bye th whey , tha mur crissmasy eye git , the moore eelitrat i bekum

[quote="fiona"]Fair enough.

Right ... yan, tan, tethera, pethera...

What are you on about I've been at it all day, and I think I'm making more sense?..... I hope........or its time for bed

[quote="will baddeley"]

fiona wrote:Fair enough.

Right ... yan, tan, tethera, pethera...

... and I think I'm making more sense?..... I hope........or its time for bed

In which case the yan tan tethera system is highly appropriate in that it will (as popular theory would have it) assist you in dropping off to sleep.

Sweet dreams, sweet pea

And whats more He's got a smug look about him It's like..." She just can't leave me alone" ....No Im not bitter and twisted

It was like that when we were young, Will.

I think.



Now put the amber nectar down, go to bed and count the fluffy things!

confused now.....landlady?.....moderator?........wheres my coat.........

Thanks Fiona
I accept your result and agree with the winner
congratulations to all well done everyone
have a peaceful new year
Cowans toffee - now that takes me back
Will as you can see has also been gracious in defeat (yeah right)
steve x

bigsteve wrote:Thanks Fiona
I accept your result and agree with the winner
congratulations to all well done everyone
have a peaceful new year
Cowans toffee - now that takes me back
Will as you can see has also been gracious in defeat (yeah right)
steve x

I will have my day, revenge is a dish, best served cold