WORST JOKE!

Ok Fiona you asked for it..................... I DELIVERED A PARCEL OF BUBBLE WRAP MEASURING 16 METERS
THE GENTLEMAN ASKED ME TO POP IT THE CORNER OF THE ROOM
(WAIT FOR IT)................................... BU**ER ME I WAS THERE FOR 4 HOURS

Alex e

Huh??????

PaulH wrote:Huh??????

Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop pop....

I like doing that too.

The joke probably hinges on there being understanding of the pun on the literal use (as in to make or cause something else to make a popping sound) as identified by Alain above, and the UK colloquial use of the verb "to pop" - meaning to place or to move oneself. As in "I'll just pop this bag/chair/ over here in the corner" or "I'm just popping out to the shop/store". Or as Alex and I would say "Ah'm just poappin doon the offie fur a kerry oot."


So, Alex roars into the lead in the worst joke competition by dint of a. it being a truly awful joke, and b. the fact that we're having to explain it.

As we all know the Titanic sank in April of 1912, but a couple of little known facts are:
1. Its next port of call after New York was Vera Cruz, Mexico.
2. That it was also carrying a shipment of Hillman's Mayonnaise bound for Vera Cruz, Mexico
3. That the Mexicans really liked Hillman's which was only made in the UK at the time.
4. That the Mexicans didn't learn of the sinking right away, after all it was 1912.
5. That they finally learned about the tragedy on May 5, 1912.

And ever since they celebrate "Sinko De Mayo" with lots of alcohol trying to forget the loss of the Hillman's

Can I have several attempts?

1. 5 out of every 3 people have trouble understanding fractions.

2. When the plums on your tree are dry, it is time to prune.

3. "Albinos" - you can't say fairer than that!

4. My wife said "Can my mother come down for the weekend?" I said "why?"
She said "Well, she's been up on the roof for 2 weeks already".

You did suggest "worst"!!

Let's keep it all tasteful though.

Andre Beaurain wrote:
How many Surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

Fish.

We've got the same one with the Belgians, the Belgians have the same one with the French, the English probably have the same one with the Irish, I suspect the members of the UKIP have the same one with the EMPs, and such American tribe must also have the same with another tribe I suppose

When passing the fridge the other night I could have sworn I heard the BEE GEES singing from within,
I opened the door only to find it was just the.... "CHIVES TALKING".....................................

fiona wrote:The joke probably hinges on there being understanding of the pun on the literal use (as in to make or cause something else to make a popping sound) as identified by Alain above, and the UK colloquial use of the verb "to pop" - meaning to place or to move oneself. As in "I'll just pop this bag/chair/ over here in the corner" or "I'm just popping out to the shop/store". Or as Alex and I would say "Ah'm just poappin doon the offie fur a kerry oot."


So, Alex roars into the lead in the worst joke competition by dint of a. it being a truly awful joke, and b. the fact that we're having to explain it.

................dinnae furget the boattle ae IRUN BRU

At an art auction in Edinburgh a wealthy American lost his wallet containing $50000. There was an announcement to the crowd that he would give a reward of £200 to the person who found it and returned it to him. From the back of the room a Scottish voice shouted "I'll give £250".
(Canny lot, these Scots).

Quasimodo and his Mother are out shopping in a department store. His mother stops in the pots and pans section to look for a new Wok. Quasimodo sees what she is looking for and asks with a smile: Ooh Mama, are we going to have Chinese food tonight? She replies: No... Mammy needs to iron your shirts!

Don't know bad ones!
Cheers,
Hans van Meer.

A termite walks into a bar, pounds his fist, and shouts, "Where's the bar tender?"

What did the lion say after eating a clown?



That tasted funny....

What is green and gets red in a instant? A frog in a blender!
What is white and blubbers trough the dessert? A herd of Yogurt!
What is black, hisses and lives in a tree? A nest young bicycle pumps!

Cheers,
Hans van Meer.

A drunk bird walks into a bar, should have ducked!

Only one person in ten understands Binary code, the rest are remainders.