I LIke Big Trunks, that is no Lie

I Like Big Trunks
(sung to the tune of I Like Big Butts by Sir Mix-A-Lot)

*talking*
Oh my god
Becky, look at her trunk
It’s so big
She looks like one of those sumo bonsai.
Who understands those Japanese guys
They only wire her because she looks like a miniature tree
I mean her trunk
It's just so big
I can't believe it's so tapered
It's just out there
I mean, it's huge.

*rap*
I like big trunks and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a bonsai has a tiny tachigari
And a ground thing in your nebari
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that trunk was stuffed
Deep in the nebari she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture.
My homeboys said I’m spunky
But that trunk you got
Makes me so funky.
Ooh, trunk of smooth bark
You say you wanna get in my pot
Well it’s not high, no not high, it ain’t an average bonsai

I've think it’s time for potting
The buds are a popping
She's growing, Wet, got it growing like a turbo vette

I'm tired of magazines
Saying flat trunks are the thing
Take the average bonsaist and ask him spunk
She gotta pack much trunk

So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah)
Has your bonsai got the trunk (hell yeah)
Well shape it, shape it, shape it, shape it, shape that healthy trunk
Baby got trunk

And this is a classic example of what has come to be known as "seasonal bonsai depravation disorder" Where-in even those working at Master level can be taken by fits of madness during the long winter hours while their trees lay dormant...

Please folks, give generously and give often...Together we can make a difference.

drgonzo wrote:And this is a classic example of what has come to be known as "seasonal bonsai depravation disorder" Where-in even those working at Master level can be taken by fits of madness during the long winter hours while their trees lay dormant...

Please folks, give generously and give often...Together we can make a difference.

There is no dormancy in Florida. I worked on trees all day.
As for fits of madness, no comment.......

And see
the fact that Rob is in Florida and doesn't even have to deal with S.B.D.D. makes this even more profound!!


-Jay

This was hilarious!!! I loved it.

Rob, I'd say you got madd rhymin' skills. I knew you were a talented bonsai artist, and now you can add "Master Rhymer" to your last name. All that and bonsai work year round??? Kinda makes me wish I never left FL.

Have a great week!!!!!
Sam

Rob, Great song! When do you go on tour? Any plans for the Charlottesville Pavillion? As "Boy George" would say ... I'll tumble for ya!
Todd