The Invention of Bonsai (the comedic version)

I liked this so much I thought I would start it's own thread.


While reading a thread a comment by Tony put a hysterical picture in my mind. This picture quickly grew into a story. Hope everyone enjoys it!


The year is 600BC, Yu Too is an aging gentleman from the mountain regions of China. He had been out taking his morning constitutional when he spotted this tiny, ugly little tree stuck in a crack in a rock. He was amazed that this little tree had survived the fierceness of the wind and the seasons. So he decided he would rescue this little tree and give it a place of honor in his yard. As he dug and pulled at the base of this tree he skinned his knuckles, bruised his arms, darned near had a stroke hauling it back into the village.

As he passed through the village on the way to his house his neighbors said "Mr. Too, what are you doing with that ugly little tree, it will never provide you with shade and you will not be able to get enough firewood for even one nights sleep."

Mr. Too said, I was so fascinated with this little tree and it's struggle to survive, that I thought I would put it in a pot and place it in my back yard so I and this tree can grow old together.

The villagers said, " Yu Too funny... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha..... "wire it stick it in a pot and call it "Tree-in-a-Pot" ... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Mr. Too did as he has said he would and place the tree in a place of honor in his garden.

Several seasons later, one of Mr. Too's neighbors had seen how well Yu's tree was doing and thought he would try it himself. The others in the village thought his folly would be as funny as Yu's so they decided to call the act of potting ugly little trees in pots "Yu Toos"; however, Mr. Too, being a modest man decided this should not be so. He concluded to the neighbor that the original joke name of "Tree-in-a-Pot" was actually more fitting of the trees so he and his neighbor settled on Bon-sai as their new hobby.

It did take a few centuries and the help of some obsessive compulsive Japanese conquerors, but the hobby finally did catch on.

Good thing for us Mr. Too didn't listen to them!

Hope Yu Too will listen to your heart and the tree and do the best with it you can. And if it comes out so nasty you would be embarrassed to show it anyone. Put it in a special little corner of your garden...and don't show it to anyone!

Whilst we are on the subject of 'Bonsai Jokes' (and Hijacking your post jay)

One day I am going to start a bonsai business... and if it becomes a success I will move to smaller premises.

think about it..

I actually had an origami company... but it folded

Tony

Tony, If it was successful you could open new branches!

I'd post another joke, but at the moment... I'm stumped!

Wood you believe it! I've only just twigged what you're talking about. I guess I'll leaf the funny stuff to those who do it best.

I received my degree in Livestock Management, I tried to open a business in the livestock feed industry, but all my business turned to crap! With all of that available fertilizer, naturally, it led to a job in the government!

Sorry, thought I'd BRANCH out into other areas.

Ha Ha. Very good. Stop shohin off... Where's this thread going? There's no one Rowan the boat. Who's at the Elm? Cedar thing is, Yew will get washed up on the Beech.

I think I hear my mame calling!

I'm entering a moderate-sized tree in a local competition - it'll be a shuhin.

The benefits of Origami are two fold

Tony

You're all Bark-ing mad. I think we should trunk-ate this thread

Les S wrote:You're all Bark-ing mad. I think we should trunk-ate this thread

\Me thinks we just got pruned!

We finally develope a budding group of comedians and we get nipped in the bud!

I think I'll leave this one alone.....

Me too Will(ow), better leaf this a prune...

High in the northern mountains of Japan a Bonsai Sensei walked with his student, as they breathed in the fresh cold early morning air the student asked his Sensei a question…
“Sensei… how do I know which is the front of a tree?”
The Sensei did not answer but continued his slow steady progress along the narrow mountain path. The student asked again…
“Sensei… how do I know which is the front of a tree?”
At this point the Sensei stopped… looked into the eyes of the student and then cast them to a lonesome pine that was on a mountain on the opposite side of the valley.
The Sensei spoke…
“Do you see the pine on the mountain opposite… are we looking at the front of the tree or the back?”
The student was naturally perplexed…
“Sensei, the only way that I would know this answer is if I was to see the tree from the other side”
At this point it became clear to the student that he would have to return down the mountain, across the valley, climb the other mountain, return the same way and give his Sensei the answer.
After six hours the exhausted student returns triumphant and proclaims to his Sensei that this was indeed the front of the tree.
Surprised at his students’ directness the Sensei enquired as to why he was so confident. The student explained…
“Sensei as I approached the pine from this side I noticed a small man around the back having a sh*t”

If you repeat this anywhere…please credit me!

Tony

I like it. Laugh so hard I almost had to find the back of a tree!

Jay

And that from the bloke whose feet I have chosen to study at. Sheeesh!

Very funny Tony. guess its not a good idea to drink tea near the p.c Ive got a lot of cleaning up to do now!!