And the Winner is......

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And the Winner is......

Post  fiona on Fri Dec 25, 2009 1:39 am

Before Will and Big Steve kill each other, I am pleased to announce the winner of the Best Worst Christmas Cracker Joke.


In third place is Iris (Bonsaisnr) for:
An imam, a priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"


Second prize goes to Wabashene for:
Q: What's ET short for?
A: Because he's only got little legs.


And the first prize goes to newbie Jon H for:
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "I'll drive if you man the guns!"

(Well I did drop a colossal hint or three about this judge's surreal sense of humour!!!)


A Certificate of Merit goes to DuncanH for the best overall joke which was just too long to be considered a Christmas Cracker joke:

A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says,
Darling, this is the pig I make love to when you have a headache."
His wife is lying in bed and replies, "I think you'll find that that's a sheep, you idiot".
The man says, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep".


A Certificate of Insanity goes to Will and Big Steve for sheer perseverance in atrocity. You certificates are in the post, but please note Will, that as I am a mean Scot, I have not put a stamp on yours so you'll have to pay the postage yourself. Hah!


Many thanks to everyone else who contributed - you may all consider yourselves as worthy runners-up.

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And the Winner Is

Post  bonsaisr on Fri Dec 25, 2009 2:12 am

Each one is worse than the others.
Iris

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Re: And the Winner is......

Post  jon hultgren on Fri Dec 25, 2009 2:23 am

That one was from my girlfriend. I'll let her know that her sense of humor did so well. Although maybe not, she might keep telling jokes.

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And the Winner is......

Post  Guest on Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:33 am

Im not happy about this Fiona Evil or Very Mad I put a huge amount of effort into this Sad I think Steve did as well, although not as much Rolling Eyes To lose to some fly by night newbie..... whose never even seen a cracker Question I demand a recount Suspect

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Re: And the Winner is......

Post  fiona on Mon Dec 28, 2009 1:02 am

will baddeley wrote: I demand a recount
Fair enough.

Right ... yan, tan, tethera, pethera...

Nope. Still Jon.

But seeing as how it's you, I'll up the Certificate to a bar of Dairy Milk. Or no, even better - a bar of McCowan's Scottish Toffee.


Last edited by fiona on Mon Dec 28, 2009 1:36 am; edited 2 times in total

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And the Winner is......

Post  Guest on Mon Dec 28, 2009 1:06 am

Bye th whey , tha mur crissmasy eye git , the moore eelitrat i bekum drunken

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Re: And the Winner is......

Post  Guest on Mon Dec 28, 2009 1:12 am

[quote="fiona"]Fair enough.

Right ... yan, tan, tethera, pethera...

What are you on about Question I've been at it all day, and I think I'm making more sense?..... I hope........or its time for bed Sleep

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Re: And the Winner is......

Post  fiona on Mon Dec 28, 2009 1:19 am

[quote="will baddeley"]
fiona wrote:Fair enough.

Right ... yan, tan, tethera, pethera...

... and I think I'm making more sense?..... I hope........or its time for bed

In which case the yan tan tethera system is highly appropriate in that it will (as popular theory would have it) assist you in dropping off to sleep.

Sweet dreams, sweet pea

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And whats more!!!!

Post  Guest on Mon Dec 28, 2009 1:22 am

And whats more Evil or Very Mad He's got a smug look about him What a Face It's like..." She just can't leave me alone" Mad ....No Im not bitter and twisted Sad

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Re: And the Winner is......

Post  fiona on Mon Dec 28, 2009 1:25 am

It was like that when we were young, Will.

I think.



Now put the amber nectar down, go to bed and count the fluffy things!

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Re: And the Winner is......

Post  Guest on Mon Dec 28, 2009 1:34 am

confused now.....landlady?.....moderator?........wheres my coat.........

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Re: And the Winner is......

Post  bigsteve on Mon Dec 28, 2009 11:00 am

Thanks Fiona
I accept your result and agree with the winner
congratulations to all well done everyone
have a peaceful new year
Cowans toffee - now that takes me back
Will as you can see has also been gracious in defeat (yeah right)
steve x

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Re: And the Winner is......

Post  Guest on Mon Dec 28, 2009 11:14 am

bigsteve wrote:Thanks Fiona
I accept your result and agree with the winner
congratulations to all well done everyone
have a peaceful new year
Cowans toffee - now that takes me back
Will as you can see has also been gracious in defeat (yeah right)
steve x

I will have my day, revenge is a dish, best served cold Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

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Re: And the Winner is......

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