My Attempts

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My Attempts

Post  Sabi on Fri Nov 02, 2012 1:13 pm

As I've just joined I thought I'd show you a few of my creations. For one it shows what level I'm at, I wouldn't want people thinking I know what I'm doing, secondly I always welcome constructive criticism. Please feel free to speak as freely as possible, I'm not one for being pandered, I like honest critique, but don't be to savage, I do have feelings after all.


Nice try by mikeybonsai, on Flickr


Final Pic by mikeybonsai, on Flickr


Fukien by mikeybonsai, on Flickr

Also here's a picture of my seedlings if anyone can help identify them


P1070704 by mikeybonsai, on Flickr

Sabi
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Re: My Attempts

Post  JimLewis on Fri Nov 02, 2012 4:47 pm

Nice job with all of them. In tree 1, I'd plant it a bit deeper, or would try to spread and put some movement into those tripod-like roots/ Tree 2 looks as if it was planted upright in that crescent pot and then the pot was tipped. I suggest when you repot that the trunk be vertical to the table. Very nice job on the Fukien.

I wouldn't even consider trying to ID a European pine.

_________________
Jim Lewis - lewisjk@windstream.net - Western NC - People, when Columbus discovered this country, it was plumb full of nuts and berries. And I'm right here to tell you the berries are just about all gone. Uncle Dave Macon, old-time country musician

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Re: My Attempts

Post  Tom on Fri Nov 02, 2012 5:07 pm

I like number 3. It's a nice planting, and will get better as you refine the foliage.
If your seedlings were dug up locally, they are very likely to be Pinus sylvestris, Scots Pine.

Tom
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Re: My Attempts

Post  Guest on Sat Nov 03, 2012 5:01 am

Hi Sabi.

1st tree-
would look better it the two huge rocks on the front would be replaced with smaller (with variations on sizes) rocks. it would create depth and illusion of natural landscape.
the fern (?) on the right side is not giving a good scale for the landscape scene.
a longer (just a bit maybe 25%) longer slab would be helpful.


Second tree-
nice pot and nice tree, but they don't appear to go together well. I would love to create (if this were mine) a landscape scene for this tree in a flat slab. as if the tree is in a meadow, the lovely red color would be nice too in a shallow yellow pot.

third tree-
Extend the foliage/branch structures to the right side to create balance. the planting is suggesting that the tree is moving towards a water source.


I hope I didn't appear and sound too savagely brutal. Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad

...Trying different things on bonsai would be very helpful in the long run. goodluck!


regards,
jun Smile

regards,
jun Smile



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Re: My Attempts

Post  Sabi on Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:58 am

Thank you all very much for your input. I've just got some nice big slabs to do some more with next year, I will endeavor to get the perspective and composition a little more refined on my next attempts. I also collect a lot of rocks when I'm out and about walking, I have a big pile next to my bonsai bench. Unforunately the right hand branch on the Berberis has died. I have a great book by Toshio Kawamoto which I will keep reading and take inspiration from. The pine seedlings were actually a " bonsai seed kit " which I bought 3 years ago which started me on my journey into bonsai. And yes I have learnt there's no such thing as bonsai seeds. Thanks again all Very Happy

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Re: My Attempts

Post  Tom on Sat Nov 03, 2012 2:00 pm

Sabi wrote:. The pine seedlings were actually a " bonsai seed kit " which I bought 3 years ago which started me on my journey into bonsai. And yes I have learnt there's no such thing as bonsai seeds. Thanks again all Very Happy

Hard to say then, beyond 'it's a two-needle pine'. Those mini seed kits often contain Pinus banksiana (Jack Pine) so that is perhaps your best bet, though I've also seen them contain Japanese Black Pine and Italian Stone Pine (which I don't think is what you have). In your position, I'd treat it as I would Pinus sylvestris.

Whatever they are, they look healthy - but if you want to develop them as bonsai they need to go in the ground or much bigger pots (which you know by now I'm sure).

Tom

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Re: My Attempts

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