2010 Darwin Awards

View previous topic View next topic Go down

2010 Darwin Awards

Post  JimLewis on Fri Jan 14, 2011 8:04 pm

<blockquote style="border-left: 2px solid rgb(16, 16, 255); margin-left: 5px; padding-left: 5px;"> <table class="yiv2052242671ecxMsoNormalTable" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr><td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"><blockquote style="border-style: none none none solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color; border-width: medium medium medium 1.5pt; padding: 0in 0in 0in 4pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; margin-left: 3.75pt;">2010 DARWIN AWARDS

8th Place
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to
retrieve his car keys.


7th Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran",
accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.



6th Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from
the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it
collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used
their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him.
It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free
him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.


5th Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle
shop he was robbing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had
placed in his mouth to keep his hands free, rammed into the base of his
skull as he hit the floor.


4th Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he
would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and
pull the trigger.


3rd Place
After walking around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a
man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the
store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was
standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced
a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer
and a clerk promptly returned fire and several customers also drew
their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by
Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge
cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds.
Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was
hurt.


HONOURABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2
a.m. So they lit a stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what
would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed


RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said
they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the
middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10
men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival
at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a
bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and
pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one
end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other (!) to the bridge. His
fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at
the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was
rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.


AND THE WINNER IS...
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated
elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries,
figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief.
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.
The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the
elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It
seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves.... 'st
uff happens'.

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL!
</blockquote></td></tr></table>



</blockquote>

_________________
Jim Lewis - lewisjk@windstream.net - Western NC - People, when Columbus discovered this country, it was plumb full of nuts and berries. And I'm right here to tell you the berries are just about all gone. Uncle Dave Macon, old-time country musician

JimLewis
Member


Back to top Go down

2010 Darwin Awards

Post  Guest on Fri Jan 14, 2011 8:28 pm

Bloody brilliant Jim. Hilarious Very Happy

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  Sam Ogranaja on Fri Jan 14, 2011 8:47 pm

This is absolutely hilarious!!!!

Sam Ogranaja
Member


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  stephen clarke on Fri Jan 14, 2011 9:39 pm

great stuff,the elephant must of completely relieved

stephen clarke
Member


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  Kev Bailey on Fri Jan 14, 2011 10:28 pm

The Darwin Awards are always worth a read. This year's are exceptional!

_________________
“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” - Charles Darwin.

Kev Bailey
Admin


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  Ravi Kiran on Sat Jan 15, 2011 5:13 am

We all need a good laugh.... Thanks Jim certainly worth reading through....... Very Happy

Ravi

Ravi Kiran
Member


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  Guest on Sat Jan 15, 2011 8:18 am

Oooooops! Very Happy

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  Rob Kempinski on Tue Jan 18, 2011 6:22 pm

If they are true, not really funny but sad. Seems most document someone's unexpected demise.

Or a newcomer: "The bonsaist, wanted to carve taper into a shari with his Makita electric die grinder and didn't notice the pool of liquid fertilizer under the tree. The subsequent shock took out the power grid to the bonsai nursery and short circuited the watering system. All the trees along with the artist were lost." - Hilarious isn't it. Evil or Very Mad

Rob Kempinski
Member


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  Guest on Tue Jan 18, 2011 6:45 pm

Rob Kempinski wrote:If they are true, not really funny but sad. Seems most document someone's unexpected demise.

Or a newcomer: "The bonsaist, wanted to carve taper into a shari with his Makita electric die grinder and didn't notice the pool of liquid fertilizer under the tree. The subsequent shock took out the power grid to the bonsai nursery and short circuited the watering system. All the trees along with the artist were lost." - Hilarious isn't it. Evil or Very Mad

Yep Laughing

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  Tony on Tue Jan 18, 2011 11:18 pm

Love the stories but most are not true:

Status: False.
PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly — and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!

Origins: In the summer of 1998, this entertaining "news item" appeared in the Weekly World News, a publication not known for adherence to strict journalistic standards. Fantastic stories invented cut of whole cloth regularly appear in its pages, and this pachyderm tale is but another of that ilk.

The story is a fake. There is no zoo in Paderborn, Germany, and a check of that town's phone book fails to reveal listings for either the victim Riesfeldt or detective Erik Dern. Moreover, no reputable news agency carried the story of the unfortunate Friedrich Riesfeldt's demise.

sorry Guys

_________________
Tony Tickle.. "that's not your real name is it?"

‎"Study me as much as you like, you will never know me, for I differ a hundred ways from what you see me to be. Put yourself behind my eyes, and see me as I see myself, for I have chosen to dwell in a place you cannot see." — Rumi

Visit Tony's Bonsai website

If you Tweet?

Tony
Member


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  JimLewis on Wed Jan 19, 2011 12:46 pm

sorry Guys

There were no warranties, expressed or implied.

_________________
Jim Lewis - lewisjk@windstream.net - Western NC - People, when Columbus discovered this country, it was plumb full of nuts and berries. And I'm right here to tell you the berries are just about all gone. Uncle Dave Macon, old-time country musician

JimLewis
Member


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  my nellie on Wed Jan 19, 2011 1:20 pm

Rob Kempinski just expressed my thoughts, too.
Not just sad but.... tragic reproduction and ridicule of sad events.

my nellie
Member


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  Russell Coker on Wed Jan 19, 2011 8:35 pm

my nellie wrote:Rob Kempinski just expressed my thoughts, too.
Not just sad but.... tragic reproduction and ridicule of sad events.

Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked

Oh come on. Have you seen Jay Leno's "Jaywalking"? Let's face it, the world is eaten up with dumbass. (I know, I know - "people in glass houses...")

They walk among us...

http://www.iviewtube.com/v/65379/jay-leno-in-jaywalking-(very-funny)

Or did y'all see something on that list that hit too close to home??? Wink

R


Russell Coker
Member


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  Guest on Thu Jan 20, 2011 2:41 am

Excellent Russell. Amusing and very scary. Furthering the cause for chemical castration. Very Happy

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  my nellie on Thu Jan 20, 2011 9:46 am

Russell Coker wrote:... ... the world is eaten up with dumbass. ... ... ...

will baddeley wrote:Excellent Russell. Amusing and very scary. Furthering the cause for chemical castration. Very Happy

Yes, Gentlemen!
I know quite well that there are the kind of "dumb up there" people in the world. I do live in the real world like you do!
But I do decry that the world is eaten up with them in no possible way..., it's rather eaten up with the wise guys techno-buro-crats! Those deciding who is going to live and who is going to die by their own standards! Those labeling people with some expiring date....

Russell Coker wrote:... ...Or did y'all see something on that list that hit too close to home??? Wink
And suppose this is the case!
What are you going to do with us all, gentlemen?
Expell us to the uttermost firing -together with our home and bonsais- ???




Last edited by my nellie on Thu Jan 20, 2011 9:48 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Spelling correction)

my nellie
Member


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  fiona on Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:56 pm

I think we're in danger of blowing this way out of proportion here. This part of the forum is specifically for light-hearted banter and part of the bit of humour that makes life just that little bit more enjoyable for most of us are things like the Darwin Awards - either the official ones or the unofficial ones that appear frequently and are, as Tony points out, quite often fitcitious. No-one is seriously suggesting that we go out and engineer the demise of those we consider to be "lesser" people. But show me the person who claims never to have indulged in a little bit of schadenfreude at some point in their life and I'll show you someone who is self-deluding. Or who possibly is Mother Teresa, though I suspect that the very noticeable twinkle in her eye may have been because even she on occasion was having a right good laugh inwardly at some of our dafter doings.

The Darwin Awards allow us merely to feel superior for those few minutes in which we read them before consigning them to a corner of our minds or even right out of our heads altogether.

No big deal there IMHO.

fiona
Member


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  JimLewis on Thu Jan 20, 2011 2:00 pm

Now, now . . . . be good.

Whether those stories are apocryphal or not, we all have run into people much like those. And why else is "America's Funniest Home Videos" (or whatver its name is) such a popular, long-running television program in the USA (where we seem to have our share of idiots running around loose). Some are actually very dangerous idiots, as recent events prove; at least those genes should disappear before they're passed on.

_________________
Jim Lewis - lewisjk@windstream.net - Western NC - People, when Columbus discovered this country, it was plumb full of nuts and berries. And I'm right here to tell you the berries are just about all gone. Uncle Dave Macon, old-time country musician

JimLewis
Member


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  bumblebee on Fri Jan 21, 2011 1:17 am

....and anyway, these same people are driving on our roads and using public toilets!

Libby

bumblebee
Member


Back to top Go down

Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  Sponsored content Today at 2:18 am


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum