I could NOT resist
+7
my nellie
Todd Ellis
Storm
John Quinn
David Brunner
Hans van Meer.
JimLewis
11 posters
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I could NOT resist
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition
Here are the winners:
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax
refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
[/size]
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas
from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.
[/size]
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte[/b]: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes,
right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon[/b] (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
Here are the winners:
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax
refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
[/size]
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas
from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.
[/size]
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte[/b]: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes,
right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon[/b] (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
Last edited by JimLewis on Thu Dec 30, 2010 7:48 pm; edited 1 time in total
JimLewis- Member
Re: I could NOT resist
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
Some off those are brilliant !!
Thanks for posting!
Cheers,
Hans van Meer.
Some off those are brilliant !!
Thanks for posting!
Cheers,
Hans van Meer.
Hans van Meer.- Member
Re: I could NOT resist
Thank you Jim – very clever and funny. Here is a modest contribution:
Bondsai (n.): the powerful natural force that binds a bonsaist to a potted tree or trees. It can be the cause of over-crowded benches, large agglomerations of “sticks-in-pots”, and even domestic discord.
David B.
Bondsai (n.): the powerful natural force that binds a bonsaist to a potted tree or trees. It can be the cause of over-crowded benches, large agglomerations of “sticks-in-pots”, and even domestic discord.
David B.
David Brunner- Member
Re: I could NOT resist
Ausbo. Austrian Social Behaviour Order. I realise this is an abreviation of ASBO (Anti Social Behaviour Order)a civil order made against a person who has been shown, on the balance of evidence, to have engaged in anti-social behaviour, but I could not resist. I think this comment may disappear into the ether too.
Well, Will . . . How about:
Pedestrial: (adj.) Someone who continues to push a rather dull, pointless, (and mean-spirited) "point," esp. in someone else's thread.
jim
Well, Will . . . How about:
Pedestrial: (adj.) Someone who continues to push a rather dull, pointless, (and mean-spirited) "point," esp. in someone else's thread.
jim
Guest- Guest
Re: I could NOT resist
Very clever neologisms!
For me this is the best: Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
For me this is the best: Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
my nellie- Member
Re: I could NOT resist
Not as good, IMHO:
The Washington
Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest,
in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored
mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12.. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A
Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
The Washington
Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest,
in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored
mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12.. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A
Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
JimLewis- Member
Re: I could NOT resist
Threadbare, adj. The inevitable outcome of persistent postings of an antagonistic and personal nature against another forum member
fiona- Member
Re: I could NOT resist
artichoke n. the practice of stifling creativity with artificial and often contrived pre-conceptions or rules
fiona- Member
Re: I could NOT resist
Anaesthetic n. a state of artistic numbness brought about by too many pseudo-rules and preconceived notions about what a bonsai should look like. Fortunately reversible
fiona- Member
I get the message
Happy New year and goodnight
Last edited by will baddeley on Fri Dec 31, 2010 10:20 pm; edited 1 time in total
Guest- Guest
Re: I could NOT resist
LEGOIST Prone to egotism with the mind of a child and the personality of a brick.
Smithy- Member
fiona- Member
Re: I could NOT resist
I'm awake now....couldn't sleep in my empty pram, having launched my toys out over a vast area. Happy New Year Fi.
Guest- Guest
Re: I could NOT resist
BONSAI:
The art of taking a little tree,
design it with pruning, wiring and time
and planting it in a little pot.
BONGSAI:
The art of starting with a little pot,
getting a serious case of the munchies
and forgetting you even own little trees.
Jay
The art of taking a little tree,
design it with pruning, wiring and time
and planting it in a little pot.
BONGSAI:
The art of starting with a little pot,
getting a serious case of the munchies
and forgetting you even own little trees.
Jay
Jay Gaydosh- Member
Re: I could NOT resist
How about a BONZI SCHEME
The act of maketing little tree starts held in little pots with glued in rock as real bonsai
for the purpose of cheating thousands of Mall shoppers out of their hard earned money!
The act of maketing little tree starts held in little pots with glued in rock as real bonsai
for the purpose of cheating thousands of Mall shoppers out of their hard earned money!
Jay Gaydosh- Member
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