Stock reply for all dead juniper posts
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Stock reply for all dead juniper posts
A woman
brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her
pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened
tothe bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly
said, "I'm sorry,your duck, Cuddles, has passed
away."
The
distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I
am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you
haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a
coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around
and left the room.He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the
dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
examination table and sniffed the duck from top tobottom. He then
looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his
head.
The
vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.A few
minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table
and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
back on its
haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the
room. The vet
looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead
duck."
The
vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced
a bill,which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still
in shock, took the bill.
$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck
is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you
had just taken my word for it,the bill would have been $10, but
with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan,it's now
$150."
brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her
pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened
tothe bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly
said, "I'm sorry,your duck, Cuddles, has passed
away."
The
distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I
am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you
haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a
coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around
and left the room.He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the
dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
examination table and sniffed the duck from top tobottom. He then
looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his
head.
The
vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.A few
minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table
and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
back on its
haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the
room. The vet
looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead
duck."
The
vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced
a bill,which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still
in shock, took the bill.
$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck
is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you
had just taken my word for it,the bill would have been $10, but
with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan,it's now
$150."
JimLewis- Member
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