suggestions for my elm

Never heard of pinching an elm. My luck I'd get slapped. There are pruning tutorials on many websites, and there are book recommendations on many sites as well.

I may have missed someone else mentioning it, but one of the main reasons for the 'red' cuts Y recommended is to preventing a swelling, or reverse taper, where three or more branches grow out from the same area of the tree- that is generally considered unsightly. You have been pruning other trees for some time, so if that was already obvious, sorry.

You may be able to shield your elm from the wind by another plant, garden statue, body of the house, etc. Anything will help. Also, with the rough Utah environment you could give it some relief by putting it where it gets shade part of the day, and preferably in the peak radiant hours in the afternoon.

If you have a good soil mix(sounds like you do), you may find you need to water twice a day in the hottest months, what with all that dry wind especially.

I admit it is hard to water even every day all summer long and live an active lifestyle. So usually this tree suffers a die back due to dryness at least once a season. I have a drip system but it is every several 3-5 days, I have a desert type flower bed yard. I do keep it under my deck so it gets morning sun and I can control how much. I am going to aim for only 3 hours of full sun. As to the wind. its actually hard to imagine.. and it comes from every direction as I get back eddies under this deck from the nearby bluff and my shed and or just the structure. I do have a granite top dressing to help keep the soil in and hold the moisture. My soil mix is doing quite well so far.

here is a link to pinching. maybe it is not valid?
http://bonsaijournal.com/elm-pinching.php

Interesting article.  I've learned something new today, as I had never heard that anyone is pinching deciduous trees.  In the end, I believe the function is the same as cutting.  With my stubby fingers, I am sure to take away more than I should.  For fine pruning work geared toward ramification, I am more comfortable with leaf scissors.

Trees don't mind short visits in the house. If you are going to be gone such that you cannot even water in the morning, maybe a kitchen window for a day or so while you are gone is preferable to outdoor stress.

Or a soil change. If I were to be free to water my plants twice a day, I would use a larger chicken grit as a substrate. The small grit ensures 24 hours between waterings is sufficient during the heat of Summer. You might consider a combination of substrates that holds onto water a little longer for your next repot.

In another thread we were discussing watering bonsai in drought areas with water restrictions. It came to my mind that mulch as a top-top-dressing might slow water loss during extreme weather. I've not been in a position where I needed to try it, but maybe others have and will comment on whether it has helped.

Have you considered a succulent bonsai, or a local growing juniper?

The inside idea is a very good one. At your suggestion I just and dug up a 10"juniper volunteer I had seen under a pine in the front yard. It may live but it has a chance now as I was just going to pull it.