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My Attempts

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My Attempts Empty My Attempts

Post  Sabi Fri Nov 02, 2012 1:13 pm

As I've just joined I thought I'd show you a few of my creations. For one it shows what level I'm at, I wouldn't want people thinking I know what I'm doing, secondly I always welcome constructive criticism. Please feel free to speak as freely as possible, I'm not one for being pandered, I like honest critique, but don't be to savage, I do have feelings after all.

My Attempts 7802913110_89d1eef2d5_c
Nice try by mikeybonsai, on Flickr

My Attempts 7241893064_44e10ab3cc_c
Final Pic by mikeybonsai, on Flickr

My Attempts 6947400519_c1743c03b3_c
Fukien by mikeybonsai, on Flickr

Also here's a picture of my seedlings if anyone can help identify them

My Attempts 7176371539_81fe85ce85_c
P1070704 by mikeybonsai, on Flickr
Sabi
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Post  JimLewis Fri Nov 02, 2012 4:47 pm

Nice job with all of them. In tree 1, I'd plant it a bit deeper, or would try to spread and put some movement into those tripod-like roots/ Tree 2 looks as if it was planted upright in that crescent pot and then the pot was tipped. I suggest when you repot that the trunk be vertical to the table. Very nice job on the Fukien.

I wouldn't even consider trying to ID a European pine.
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Post  Tom Fri Nov 02, 2012 5:07 pm

I like number 3. It's a nice planting, and will get better as you refine the foliage.
If your seedlings were dug up locally, they are very likely to be Pinus sylvestris, Scots Pine.
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Post  Guest Sat Nov 03, 2012 5:01 am

Hi Sabi.

1st tree-
would look better it the two huge rocks on the front would be replaced with smaller (with variations on sizes) rocks. it would create depth and illusion of natural landscape.
the fern (?) on the right side is not giving a good scale for the landscape scene.
a longer (just a bit maybe 25%) longer slab would be helpful.


Second tree-
nice pot and nice tree, but they don't appear to go together well. I would love to create (if this were mine) a landscape scene for this tree in a flat slab. as if the tree is in a meadow, the lovely red color would be nice too in a shallow yellow pot.

third tree-
Extend the foliage/branch structures to the right side to create balance. the planting is suggesting that the tree is moving towards a water source.


I hope I didn't appear and sound too savagely brutal. Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad

...Trying different things on bonsai would be very helpful in the long run. goodluck!


regards,
jun Smile

regards,
jun Smile



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Post  Sabi Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:58 am

Thank you all very much for your input. I've just got some nice big slabs to do some more with next year, I will endeavor to get the perspective and composition a little more refined on my next attempts. I also collect a lot of rocks when I'm out and about walking, I have a big pile next to my bonsai bench. Unforunately the right hand branch on the Berberis has died. I have a great book by Toshio Kawamoto which I will keep reading and take inspiration from. The pine seedlings were actually a " bonsai seed kit " which I bought 3 years ago which started me on my journey into bonsai. And yes I have learnt there's no such thing as bonsai seeds. Thanks again all Very Happy
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Post  Tom Sat Nov 03, 2012 2:00 pm

Sabi wrote:. The pine seedlings were actually a " bonsai seed kit " which I bought 3 years ago which started me on my journey into bonsai. And yes I have learnt there's no such thing as bonsai seeds. Thanks again all Very Happy

Hard to say then, beyond 'it's a two-needle pine'. Those mini seed kits often contain Pinus banksiana (Jack Pine) so that is perhaps your best bet, though I've also seen them contain Japanese Black Pine and Italian Stone Pine (which I don't think is what you have). In your position, I'd treat it as I would Pinus sylvestris.

Whatever they are, they look healthy - but if you want to develop them as bonsai they need to go in the ground or much bigger pots (which you know by now I'm sure).

Tom
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